The Twelve Days of Christmas Redux

Hard to believe I haven’t posted in 6 months, but I plead being too busy in “retirement”. But now that the papers and exams have all been graded and the final grades have been posted , I thought I’d get back to blogging again. My last post was on the debt and the need to reform Social Security as one part of avoid economic Armageddon. Pt. 2 was to be about Medicaid, Medicare and other government health expenditures and taxes. However, with the holiday season upon us, I thought this would be a bit too dreary a topic.

Instead, in the spirit of Christmas, I started thinking about the famous and interminably repetitive song “The Twelve Days of Christmas”. The earliest known version of the lyrics was published in London under the title “The Twelve Days of Christmas sung at King Pepin’s Ball”, as part of a 1780 children’s book, Mirth without Mischief. (My source is “Wikipedia”). To those who have forgotten or have understandably tried to block it out, the current version of the last verse of the Twelve Days of Christmas is as follows:

“On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

12 drummers drumming

11 pipers piping

10 lords a leaping

9 ladies dancing

8 maids a-milking

7 swans a-swimming

6 geese a-laying

5 GOLD RINGS

4 calling birds

3 french hens

2 turtle doves 

And a partridge in a pear tree. “

This is not only repetitive but pretty ancient circa 18th/19th century England. So in the spirit of improving this age old classic, I have updated the lyrics for the 21st century with a set of lyrics focused around food which we usually eat to excess around the holiday season:

On the twelfth day of Christmas, 

12 Chocolate Candies

11 Lady Fingers

10 gallons ice cream

9 shrimps a sizzling

8 burgers broiling

7 steaks a searing

6 cheeses in bacon

5 COLD WINGS

4 roasting hens

3 French Fries

2 Turtle Soups

And a kilo of a rare brie.

So the next time, you are listening to the Twelve Days of Christmas imagine you are listening to these delicious food lyrics instead.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to All!