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New Year’s Resolutions

January 15, 2013

New Year’s resolutions are a tradition for many and I am afraid I am no different. So over the past couple weeks, I have carefully assessed what I want to resolve to do and not do in 2013. In the spirit of Woodrow Wilson’s 14 Points (which I can’t remember at all, except that there were 14 of them), herewith is my list of 14 resolutions:

1. I will lose 15 Pounds! !! Or at least 10 lbs. , give or take a few. How ’bout I lose the same percentage of my weight equal to the percent spending cuts the federal government makes in 2013 relative to 2012 levels? Yeah, pretty sure I can do that.

2. I will not eat desserts or sweet snacks. The exception to this will be chocolate which has been clinically proven to be good for you. and of course, I will have to make an exception on my own birthday. Further, since I don’t want to be a spoil sport, I will also make exceptions on my wife’s birthday, my two daughter’s birthdays and other important birthdays such as Washington’s, Lincoln’s , Eric Clapton’s, Jimi Hendrix’s, Paul McCartney’s, Derek  Jeter’s etc.

3. I will exercise regularly as long as it is convenient  and I feel like exercising.

4. I will limit myself to no more than 2 alcoholic drinks a night. However, I will have no limitations on wine or beer.

5. I pledge to tell my wife at least once a week ” You look mahhvelous!” Using my best Billy Crystal accent.

6. I will try to dress more fashionably this year so that my daughters no longer exclaim “Oh Dad?!” when they first see me. (My wife seldom complains anymore as she has largely given up).  However, I refuse to go clothes shopping with my family.

8. I promise not to get too overtly upset ( no cursing!) when any of my favorite sports teams ( Yankees, NY Giants and OSU) loses. Thankfully, these teams win most of the time, otherwise I would probably have a coronary.

9. I am resolved to not worry about the future, be it my own future, my family’s future or the country’s future. Instead, I plan to worry that I am NOT worrying enough about the future.

10. I will love my enemies just as much as I love my family and friends during 2013. (However, I will still hope that they rot in hell.)

11. I pledge to enjoy life more and spend more time with my family and friends. ( I really mean this one.)

12. I plan to give back more thru volunteer activities in 2013. ( Likewise, I really mean this one, too)

13. I promise to continue my blog in an upbeat manner as possible as long as the President and Congress don’t do anything stupid. OK, so maybe I wont be that upbeat.

14. I resolve to NOT make 14 resolutions next year at this time.

So what are your resolutions?

Happy New Year to all.

From → Humor, Potpourri

  1. Just stop worrying. In my limited experience, it doesn’t do any good and all that energy could be used to have fun with the ones you love.

  2. Maryanne permalink

    I liked this entry Dad! Keep up the light hearted ones!

  3. Debra permalink

    OMG. I love this Bruce. I hate that I am just now reading it. Let’s you know that I am working boss. :0)

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